1️⃣ LOVE vs ARRANGED MARRIAGE
My mother told me on March 31st, 2005 that on April 1st, 2005, there is an engagement party. My engagement to Zaki 😅
I laughed and said, “Are you serious?”
She was very serious.
I said, “How in the world can you make one of the most important decisions of my life and assume I will be happy?”.
She said, “Because I know my daughter. I know this will make her happy”.
I was in a shock. I didn’t know how this was happening to me in the 21st century.
The next day, the day of engagement I was crying nonstop. My father got the wind of it and came to my room. He held my hand and said, “If the thought of being married to Zaki upsets my daughter so much, I will call off the engagement right this minute. I will never do anything without your consent. Just know that I agreed to this only because in my and your mother’s opinion, he is a great guy and you know we all love their family. We were of the impression that you liked him”.
It was hard but I said, “Even though it’s so sudden and such a huge shock, I am happy with your decision. I believe that if I will make you happy, Allah will make me happy”.
I was engaged to him via a long distance call and a ring that was put on my finger by my mother-in-law.
2️⃣ How did you guys meet?
Both our families knew each other even before we were born. We had seen each other many many times. Normal meet and greet kind. Zaki went to US for undergrad just a few days before 9/11.
I remember one time I said to my cousins laughingly, “I am going to marry Zaki and go to US. FAR away from all you pesky ones. Then you will remember me!” Little did I know that at that very moment some angel said Amen 😊
3️⃣ What is the secret of a happy marriage? 📍First and foremost, Compromise. There is more compromise in an arranged marriage compared to a love marriage at first. But eventually, it all evens out after a few years because ALL human beings change/grow with time. Physically, mentally and emotionally. 📍To give more and take less 📍To expect nothing in return 📍Mutual respect and love 📍In hard times, knowing and Understanding that the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side